Tag is DANGEROUS!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I just heard somethin' on TV about some schools banning the game Tag from being played by children in the schoolyard. I mean damn...you got kids growing up these days that aren't allowed to play tag? Oh no...you can go and play XBOX all day but god forbid you play Tag. It's too dangerous. Kids could get hurt. Kids could get hurt on sharp edges at hallway interesections too. Better make them all rounded. I'm going to write my governor about this.
Something that REALLY should be banned is tetherball. I mean you hit it, right...and it comes back around. It's like, on a rope. It swings around the pole and someone could get hit in the back of the head. I know that at every single school I ever went to, tetherball was already banned apparently because none of the tetherballs were there anymore. Maybe tetherballs are just really really expensive. Yeah that's probably it.