Can Glued to the Can
"It's not about the money. I want my health back. I want to be back to normal," Dougherty said. "I want to make sure this doesn't happen to anybody ever, ever again."
That's what the guy said about sueing for 3 million dollars for getting glued to a toilet seat in a Home Depot in Louisville, CO.
Let's analyze a bit.
I go in to use a public restroom toilet. You can be damn sure that I'm going to look at the toilet seat in a public restroom before I sit down on it. Half the time, there is urine and/or fecal matter on the seat. I sometimes even put down a layer or two of toilet paper on the seat before I take a squat. Now you're telling me that, not only did this guy not look before he sat down, but he sat down on the glue and did not immediately get up, but sat there long enough to become completely stuck to the seat. Now anyone who has ever used super glue knows that anything that becomes bonded that quickly also dries very quickly. So the person who was there before this guy had to have just put the glue on the seat before Bob walked in the restroom. Bob then said he called for help for fifteen minutes before anyone helped him. That's why he's sueing the Home Depot for 3 million dollars. He said he doesn't want this to ever happen again. Guess what Bob. Pranks done by children with super glue or ketchup or whoopie cushions aren't going to stop because you sue Home Depot, jackass. Oh wait..you must mean that you don't want people to be ignored when they need help for fifteen minutes. That's why you're sueing right? Not because you were glued, but because you were denied help for fifteen minutes. What if it happened outside and you fell down and nobody helped you up for fifteen minutes and you just sat there on the ground? Would you then sue the city because nobody came by to help you? He complained about sitting there for fifteen minutes on the pot. He was probably going to be there for fifteen minutes to take a dump anyway. He just would have had a difficult time wiping.
Obviously, Bob could have put the glue on the seat himself then flushed the evidence down the toilet before sitting down on the seat.
There's also an official from Nederland, CO who said that Bob claimed he was glued yet again to a toilet seat in the town's visitor center but pulled himself free. There was no evidence of this happening. Timeline important here. The Nederland incident allegedly happened in the Summer of 2004 while the Louisville incident allegedly happened just before Halloween in 2003. 2003? Why sait two years to sue if it's "not about the money. I just want my health back."? Please...
That's what the guy said about sueing for 3 million dollars for getting glued to a toilet seat in a Home Depot in Louisville, CO.
Let's analyze a bit.
I go in to use a public restroom toilet. You can be damn sure that I'm going to look at the toilet seat in a public restroom before I sit down on it. Half the time, there is urine and/or fecal matter on the seat. I sometimes even put down a layer or two of toilet paper on the seat before I take a squat. Now you're telling me that, not only did this guy not look before he sat down, but he sat down on the glue and did not immediately get up, but sat there long enough to become completely stuck to the seat. Now anyone who has ever used super glue knows that anything that becomes bonded that quickly also dries very quickly. So the person who was there before this guy had to have just put the glue on the seat before Bob walked in the restroom. Bob then said he called for help for fifteen minutes before anyone helped him. That's why he's sueing the Home Depot for 3 million dollars. He said he doesn't want this to ever happen again. Guess what Bob. Pranks done by children with super glue or ketchup or whoopie cushions aren't going to stop because you sue Home Depot, jackass. Oh wait..you must mean that you don't want people to be ignored when they need help for fifteen minutes. That's why you're sueing right? Not because you were glued, but because you were denied help for fifteen minutes. What if it happened outside and you fell down and nobody helped you up for fifteen minutes and you just sat there on the ground? Would you then sue the city because nobody came by to help you? He complained about sitting there for fifteen minutes on the pot. He was probably going to be there for fifteen minutes to take a dump anyway. He just would have had a difficult time wiping.
Obviously, Bob could have put the glue on the seat himself then flushed the evidence down the toilet before sitting down on the seat.
There's also an official from Nederland, CO who said that Bob claimed he was glued yet again to a toilet seat in the town's visitor center but pulled himself free. There was no evidence of this happening. Timeline important here. The Nederland incident allegedly happened in the Summer of 2004 while the Louisville incident allegedly happened just before Halloween in 2003. 2003? Why sait two years to sue if it's "not about the money. I just want my health back."? Please...
posted by Ub3rn00b at 6:37 PM
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