Happy New Year!

All day today I keep hearing people saying "Happy New Years". That's "Years" as in more than one year. I have to explain to them that it's only "Happy New Year" and not "Years" since we can only have one new year at a time. So, this being my last post of 2005, I'd like to reflect on it and convey a few words about my feelings, emotions and thoughts about the larger events of the year that effected the people of the entire planet.

On second thought...nevermind. Happy New Year!

My Letter to Mattel

Dear Mattel,
First, let me start out by saying that my ideas, suggestions and opinions in the letter herein are in no way meant to solicit any money from you to me. These thoughts of mine are meant solely for the purpose of increasing profit in your company. I seek no recognition or credit should you choose to implement my ideas in your product line.
My ideas target the Barbie line specifically. Of course, millions of barbies have been sold world wide to little girls around the world. They have been enjoyed generation to generation. Younger girls who collected barbies passed on their barbies to their own daughters and many have continued collecting barbies well into their adulthood. Inarguably, far less boys and/or men collect Barbies. Very few at all, indeed. The numbers of Barbies sold around the world could easily double if you use my ideas in you product line.
My first idea is quite a simple one. Simply make the barbies anatomically correct. That is, make the leg, hip, and arm joints more realistic looking. Make it a smooth curve from the legs into the hips and buttocks. Make the buttocks more shapely. Most importantly, give the barbies nipples. That's right. Barbie nipples. Perhaps you could contract out to some other 3rd world nation whose sole national income could be from producing and exporting barbie nipples. They would have to be made out of a softer, rubbery material than the regular plastic in the rest of the barbie.
You no doubt understand why making the barbies anatomically correct would sell more to young boys around the world. More men would also buy these barbies.
Barbies have come a long way since the days of old. We have Cali barbie and Beach Fun barbie and so forth. Barbies with tans and wearing next to nothing out to party and have a good time. With this trend in mind, I've come up with a way to sell more barbies to older boys and young men.
You should introduce a line of "Stripper Barbie". You could have barbie and all her friends in sexy little skimpy stripper outfits. If you need ideas for what kinds of outfits to put on the barbies, go ahead and take a company outting to a local strip club in your area. You could have French Maid barbie or Nurse Barbie, etc. Again, implementing the whole idea of being anatomically correct would increase the appeal of these Stripper Barbies.
Again, I in no way am looking to profit by giving these suggetsions to you. I simply look forward to the product and release of these product lines. Thanks for reading!

Always up for a good barbie,

John

Biggest Loser of 2005

It's that time again! That exciting part of the year where we look back at 2005 and named the world's biggest loser!
This year, the world's biggest loser is Steven Shipman of Denver, CO! Congratulations, Steven! You haven't seen or talked to your 5 year old son in Colorado Springs for over 2 years! Nor have you payed a single dime of child support since the court ordered you pay 260 dollars per month since the year 2000! You've ignored his birthday for the last 3 straight years and you haven't sent as much as a card for Christmas. Congratulations on beating out millions of competing dead-beat dads around the world to win this prestigious recognition! Keep up the good work!

Black Women with Orange Hair

So...what's the deal with black women with orange hair? They...WANTED orange hair? I mean that's the look they were going for? The orange head thing? Or they tried to use some blonde hair color and it didn't quite work out for them? I'm just trying to understand what the issue is.

I'm Done Christmas Shopping!

I'm all done Christmas shopping finally! It all started this morning...at around 12:50am and it ended at around 1:25pm. Got everything I needed to get for people. Everyone should be happy.

Bad Intelligence Lead to Iraq Invasion Says Bush

Bush keeps saying that alot of the pre-war intelligence turned out to be wrong and he takes responsibility for going to war in Iraq. This is crap. The truth is the intelligence was as plain as could be and he chose to IGNORE it and go to war in Iraq. He keeps saying "the intelligence was wrong and I take blame for Iraq". In that statement, he's still not taking the blame because he's saying that he made the decision based on incorrect intelligence gathered by other people. That's crap. His worker bees in the NSA and CIA collected the intelligence, showed it to him, then he said "whatever...bomb Iraq" and off we were to have thousands of Americans killed in Iraq just so that Bush could secure oil for America's future because his plans for more off shore drilling and drilling in Alaska didn't work out.

Christmas

I have no money for Christmas...

Belated Birthday

For anyone who has read my entire blog since the beginning, they might know whose birthday I speak of. Jenni, my ex-wife and I had a son named John Ethan who was stillborn on his due date of 15 December of 2000. It was a very tragic event that I hope none of you have or ever have to endure. I've spoken in great lengths about my feelings and thoughts of the event and my life since then. Things are a great deal different nowadays than they were back then. I just wanted to post here a little note of remembrance for what would have been his 5th birthday yesterday. This year for Christmas, I'm putting up a stocking for him so that he knows he's not been forgotten. Happy Birthday, Ethan.
Thanks for reading...

Thwarted Robbery Attempt

I work nights, so at around 11:00am I'm asleep in my cozy warm bed, which is in my basement bedroom right next to the window well. I was waken up by the sound of someone jumping down into the window well area and trying to slide the window open. Of course, I have the window locked and there is a secondary measure in place as well so that the window cannot be opened from the outside at all. I threw on some clothes and went upstairs. By this point, the guy was at the front door on one knee attempting to use some sort of lock pick to get the front door unlocked. The door handle giggled around a bit, but he had no luck. It was at this point that I opened the front door. The guy was shocked that someone was home. He just stood there with a crazy look on his face like "oh shit". He had with him a black backpack that appeared to be full of stuff. I asked him what was in the backpack. He turned and ran away. I was in my boxers so I wasn't about to go chasing him through the snow. Anyone who knows anything about cat burglers is that you don't operate in the snow. This dude appeared to be high on something anyway, so I'm sure he wasn't too bright. I called the police and I filed a report with them. They looked around and said that there were some other signs in nearby homes of attempted break-ins but they couldn't tell if any were successful. I told them to expect to receive further calls in the afternoon once most people return home.

California Seeks to Quadruple Cigarette Tax

From Yahoo News.
They say they want to raise the tax on cigarettes to raise money for a "various health programs". Let's be honest. Remember...wasn't there just recently a huge tax increase? I really wish I could find a good link to information on what I'm about to talk about. Trust me, it was in the news awhile back.
Anyway, there was a vote to increase taxes on tobacco products. It was approved because the people for it all said that the money would go toward programs to get people to stop using the tobacco products. It would also go to schools to teach more about the health problems associated with tobacco use and so forth. It was all a very noble cause. The problem was when someone actually traced where all the money from increased taxes on the products actually went to. Out of the billions of dollars that were made from the extra money, less than 1 percent went to programs dealing with stopping smoking. That's right. Less than 1 percent of the money. It went to things like tax subsidies to tobacco farmers. It went to the war in Iraq. It went to a pay increase in congress. It went to many many things except for what it was said was intended for. This new tax increase will be nothing different, I'm sure it will prove.
Here's an arcicle on Proposition 99. It's a good read.
As you can tell by reading this post, I can find hardly anything backing up what I'm saying here...but uhh...I'll keep looking and update my post later.

Signs to Libraries

Have you ever noticed there are signs to libraries on the street? Yeah, they have on them a picture of a guy reading a book and an arrow pointing in whatever direction it is. So if I follow the signs, will I find a guy reading a book or will I find the library? Anyway, as I said before, the signs have PICTURES of a guy reading a book with an arrow pointing toward the library. Guess what. If you need a picture to tell you which way the library is, then you don't have any business going to the library anyway, genius. Unless you are going there for someone to teach you how to read. Maybe the signs should say "library" in braille so that blind people can find the library too.

Bird Flu Again

I keep seeing crap on TV about the Bird Flu. The media is cashing in on this huge hooplah about the possibility of it killing billions of people if it ever mutates into an airborne version. Look at this: AIDS kills 2.6 million people every year and it's not even an airborne virus. What if AIDS were to mutate into an airborne virus? I've never even heard anyone talk about that possibility. I guess all the drug companies have already cashed in on the AIDS threat and they have already moved on to the next best thing which is the Bird Flu. You've got to hand it to them. They've got some really smart people working for them thinking of bullcrap ways to make money and keep people worried and terrorized and make them think they have to spend more of their hard earned money to make everything better.

No Hispanics/Latinos in TV Commercials?

Watching tv, I stay tuned and watch most of the commercials throughout my viewing time. I notice that nearly ALL commercials that are meant to depict diversity in America show white people, black people, and asian people. I rarely see anyone that is Hispanic or any other ethnicity on these commercials. What, I ask, is the deal? Do an experiment. Go watch TV for 2 hours and see how many hispanics you see on TV commercials. Take special notice that there are nearly always a white person, a black person and an asian person in each and every commercial. Very rarely is there anyone else. If these advertising companies are trying to show the melting pot of American, they clearly have never looked around anywhere where I have ever lived and I've lived a lot of different places. Everyone I've lived, there have been plenty of hispanics around. In California, in Colorado, in Illinois and Iowa, in Nebraska. Many, many more hispanics than asians in fact. So why are they not in commercials? Is it that, perhaps, hispanics are not considered a target for advertising because it is thought they don't have as much money as the other groups? Please...
Just something to think about.

USPS to Raise Price of a Stamp Again (shock breaks out nation wide....yeah)

Remember when they raised the price of a stamp to 37 cents? The USPS claimed that it was because more people were using email, so they weren't bringing in enough money anymore to pay for their expenses. Here's a thought, assholes:
If more people are using email and online billpay and so forth, then the level of service that you provided is no longer required. So here's what you do. Fire about half your employees, decommision about half your mail delivery trucks, close about half your post offices in the world. That should about take care of your extra costs. You can thank me with a nice care package sent via UPS or FedEx. NOW, the post office is out of debt. Hmm...how did they make their way out of debt with all those lost revenues? Well...anyway, they are out of debt, but there was a recent congressional mandate that the USPS put 3 billion dollars into Escrow. So they say they are having to raise the cost of a stamp to 39 cents to cover that cost. They are planning on a 1.3 billion dollar surplus this year alone. So in 3 years, they will have well over 3 billion dollars extra laying around with nothing to do. I wish I had that problem. Do you think they will lower the price of a stamp once the 3 billion is in Ecrow? I'm sure they will.

Bird Flu

They say that if the bird flu mutates and becomes a version that is airborne and becomes a version that is easily transmitted from human to human (about a 1 in a trillion chance of all of this happening), then it could spread quickly and cause alot of deaths (less than 100 deaths have occured so far and still these people on TV would have you believe it's the most dangerous disease in the world). This all COULD happen. You know what else could happen? Pink elephants with wings COULD fly out of my butt and fly around the room, pooping on everyone's head while playing the kazoo and juggling bowling pins while on fire. Not likely...but possible...again about a 1 in a trillion chance of it happening...

I don't understand...Masons

I guess people like to be a part of something. My mom's side of the family have been Masons for as far back as they can be traced. They all had names like "George Washington Moyer" and "Benjamin Franklin Moyer" and so forth. Most likely, they were members of the Odd Fellows of America, from what I know of the organizations in the area where most of them have lived in the last couple hundred years. I guess my mom was probably raised in a Masonic way, whatever that might be, but she never talked much about it. I guess when you marry a Catholic raised man, compromises have to be made. I have nothing against any group or religious organization in particular. BUT WHY THE BUMPER STICKERS?! From what I've read or heard, the Masons of any group have a certain attribute about themselves to identify themselves to each other. Whether it be wearing a certain color or a secret handshake. Now apparently, some of them have taken it upon themselves to advertise themselves. I guess it's no different from people with things like "Jesus Loves you" or whatever on their cars. The main difference is that the Masons don't go door to door trying to get people to join them. They only take in people who go to them with interest in joining. Even if you want to join, you have to first have someone to vouch for you and then you have to have some sort of connection to them. I guess I might be able to get right in. I'll just tell them I'm a descendant of the wealthy Moyer family from York County, PA of 1711.
Speaking of bumper decorations, someone stole my "Support Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n Roll" support ribbon. Dirty thieves!

Inflation...make believe.

Once in awhile, someone raises their price for certain things. They usually attribute the raise to "inflation". The only thing that is usually inflated is the business owner's pockets. Sometimes, that business owner's product sources will raise their prices and THEY will attribute it to "inflation" because of higher gas prices or whatever it might be. 99 percent of the time, it's higher gas prices they blame. However, do you think that when gas prices go back down, those people lower back down their prices? Not hardly. When their costs go up, they pass the cost increase along to the consumers. When their costs go down, they simply profit more while we continue to pay more. Inflation is something that was invented a long time ago by rich business men who sat around thinking of ways to get richer while the poor people stay poor. This year in particular, gas prices have soared. Many people couldn't or could barely afford to heat their homes before. Forget about any chance of that now. The cost to pay for the bare essentials of living keep rising while pay checks continue to decline or don't move up at all. It's hard to get a pay raise from a company who claims "inflation" has driven up their costs. Usually, that causes benefits to be cut or something else that people have to pay more out of their pockets for. If it's not one thing, it's another. The second you DO get a pay raise, you can guarantee that your out of pocket costs for something else will take care of that increase in money for you, and then some. Good thing the dollar menu at McDonalds is still $1. I might starve if it weren't for them.